Snippets from your Pastor/Hospitality

The California church my cousin Tom describes below has it "together" in every way except one: They don't go out of their way to greet the stranger. Tom, a beloved elder at the Arlington Presbyterian Church near Washington D.C., was the ungreeted stranger in question.

As you may know, one of the most difficult things to do is to visit a church for the first time. Sharon and Bob Froneberger were active members at St. Giles for many, rich years. A job change called them to Gastonia, and they have confirmed that visiting new churches is tough, especially since they miss St. Giles so much. Sharon reported to me that when they arrived early at a Sunday school class for the first time at one church, it took just under five full minutes for someone to introduce themselves! Sharon timed it. And while the welcome was warm, it was delayed. Those ungreeted moments can be an agony. Have you ever been in that boat?

Visiting a new church doesn't need to be so icy an experience. Joe Gaspard told me that the first time he visited at St. Giles, he was met in the parking lot by two greeters, one of whom was a very friendly Jay Brown. Joe felt immediately welcomed.

That's how they feel at my Cousin Tom's church---if he has his way.

Ordinarily, Tom is a quiet man. He enjoys "people watching." Though friendly and kind, he is not gregarious. He'd probably not make the best greeter at the local Wal- Mart. He's not good at small talk.

But when it comes to his church he makes it a point to find people he doesn't know and greet them with a handshake and a kind word. Tom is an exquisite listener, and partly because of that is a winning conversationalist; people like it when they feel they are being heard. When he greets strangers at his church I suspect that most of the time they only exchange polite pleasantries. They may say a word or two about "safe" topics like the weather or football, neither of which Tom keeps up with. I doubt they launch into deep conversations about the unity of the God-head or the fruits of the Spirit. But these strangers are properly welcomed. Thanks to Tom's efforts, at least one person is no longer a total stranger to them. That's good news.

Not everybody at Tom's church makes such an effort. When I visit Tom's church there are only one or two people who go out of their way to greet me. Most don't speak to me unless I speak first. They aren't cold or aloof they're just shy, or preoccupied, or simply unaware of folk like me feeling slightly self-conscious. These good church folk have the same excuses you and I have when it comes to greeting people we don't know at St. Giles.

Usually I'm alone at Tom's church. He's not introducing me to his friends because he figures I have a big enough mouth to do that myself, and I do. Where's Tom? He's at the front door welcoming people he's never seen before, looking them in the eyes and tilting his head the way he does orienting his ears so he'll hear them properly. He doesn't want to miss what they have to say. He's oblivious to everything else except that encounter. Such encounters are, after all, holy, and he knows better than to turn away from an angle unawares.

I challenge you to talk to somebody you don't know next time you're at church. Don't ask them if they are a visitor; they might be a charter member you've never met and you might be embarrassed. Try saying something like this: "Hi. My name is Blah Blah and I don't think I've met you before. What's your name and how are you?" And then see what happens. It might be the entree into the deepest conversation you've had in your lifetime; however, it probably will only be a simple exchange of pleasantries: Clemson football or summer humidity. Either way, you'll have done your part to bear the hospitality of Christ to a shy stranger who just may need the human touch only you can provide.

Some of you already do this (you know who you are). Thanks. For others of us, this requires a stretch outside of our comfort zone.

Give it a try. God blesses the unions made, however haltingly, in Christ's name. Thanks be to God!

God is good...
Matt